Other People

Category Details

This section is an in-depth dive into the Other People category and what it is comprised of. It includes what "other people" means for this project, how much of the total this category makes up, and more. Read into the specifics below.

What answers are included?

The Other People category is not just answers that mention someone else. It is comprised of responses about being loved by others, helping others, being an accepting person, and wanting to help change the world. Any responses that mentioned relying on/needing someone else were put into this group. Because of the magnitude, answers about friends or family were separated and made into a category of their own. A vast majority of replies had to do with being able to help other people and make them happy. Some examples from this category include "I am able to make people smile", "I am loved", "I help others when they ask", "I do not judge people and I love equally" and "My community needs me."

How does it rank?

The Other People category is the third largest of the ten and makes up 14.4% of the total. 109 of the 757 total answers came from this group.

What are the most common answers?

In each category, the responses were recorded and tallied to find the most common themes. Each answer was then reviewed again and, if applicable, counted towards the subtype it fits. In the Other People category, the top three answers are as follows:

I can help other people (28)
I make others feel loved (20)
I care about everyone (15)

The first includes any answers about helping others in some form. Almost all 28 responses said "I can help other people" word for word. The second includes any answers regarding helping people feel loved or being able to love others. The last includes answers about caring for others, seeing everyone equally, and caring about other people's feelings.

Interpreting the answers

What do these answers mean?

The answers in the Other People category make for mediocre replies to the prompt "I love myself because...". It is easy to see how the prompt can get misconstrued, so it is important to stress that these are still great qualities. But in this specific context, these answers could use some fine tuning. Helping out and caring about other people is very admirable, and acts of service can be great for mental health. But if you love yourself BECAUSE you can support someone else, that is where things start to get dicey. Loving yourself should come from within, and should be self standing. If your answer is "I love myself because I help people when they ask", if there is no one to help, will you still love yourself? If they stop asking, will it change how you feel about yourself? And again, there is absolutely nothing bad about being a helpful or giving person. This is with the sole focus of your mental health and self-image in mind. The intention might not have been to say "I love myself because other people need me", so don't panic if you misunderstood the prompt. But for those who did say "I love myself because other people love me", this is teetering on an unhealthy image of yourself. But as a whole, Other people responses are average.

What is good/bad about this response?

With regard to self image, the Other People category has average answers. Still, one of the best ways to understand them further is to view the positive and negative aspects of them.

Pros:

Helping others is rewarding and can make you feel happy in return
Improves self-esteem because of the sense of accomplishment/making an impact
Releases endorphins, which improve mood

Cons:

If you rely on others to make you feel important or needed and they no longer call on you for help, you could wind up thinking negatively about yourself and your worth.
Giving too much to others leaves you burnt out and out of energy to spend on yourself.
Only loving yourself because someone else loves you is very unhealthy. Placing your value in someone else's feelings towards you shows a poor self-image.
There won't always be someone to help.
It is a slippery slope to prioritize someone else's needs over your own.

How does this affect mental health?

Each answer has its own circumstances, so its effect on mental health differs. As a general rule, relying on someone else to make you love yourself is very bad for your mental health. This rule applies most to answers in the "I love myself because I am loved/because X needs me" class. Saying that you love yourself because someone else does implies that if they left, you would no longer love yourself. Self-love and self-worth should come from how you feel about yourself and what makes you YOU. Answers in the "I love myself because I can help people/I make people happy" class are in the middle of the spectrum. They place less weight in the feelings of others, and they have more upsides. Serving others is proven to promote self-esteem because you feel like youre making a difference and feel satisfied with yourself. Making others happy will often make you feel happier by association. But if you are giving and giving and giving, you will exhaust your resources, leaving nothing for yourself. The downside of needing to have someone to help still applies, but less so than the first class. Answers such as "I don't judge others/I love everyone equally no matter what" reflect a good relationship. This type of answer also fits into the Personality Traits category, and personality traits are one of the best responses to the prompt. More information can be found here.

Take action!

Each section has an article that relates to its subject and a description of its contents. More readings are listed at the end of the page.

How service improves self-esteem

How Helping Others Helps You

This article includes how acts of kindness can benefit your mental well-being, how to start helping others, and simple acts of generosity you can do for others.

Being able to help people in need is one of the best feelings in the world, but does that feeling have long-term effects? It does. Volunteering your time, services, or money can help those in need more than you know. And at the same time, it can have a positive effect on your mental health. When you help someone else, cortisol levels (the stress hormone) can be decreased, and oxytocin (a hormone linked to joy and feeling of life satisfaction) is increased. Acts of kindness can also promote social interaction and bring a sense of fulfillment and gratification, which improves self-esteem. Feeling empowered because of your contribution can help you feel better equipped to take on the challenges in your life. Helping others can also be a good distraction from your own life, thus being a stress reliever. Seeing others at a critical time or in crisis allows you to think about your life and struggles with more clarity. Helping others, whether through volunteer work, giving gifts, helping a friend, or another kind of service, can be a great way to boost your self-esteem while giving back.

The importance of setting boundaries

Setting Boundaries When Helping Others
This article includes the importance of establishing limits in helping others and how to express them.

Since helping others is a relatively easy way to impact someone's life, it is natural to want to do it as much as possible. It makes you feel good, so why not have that feeling all the time? Well, the truth is that if you are giving too much or too often, it could have the opposite effect. If you're constantly doing good deeds and giving your time and resources, there will come a point when nothing is left. You can get burnt out or overexerted and wind up with nothing left to give to yourself. Yes, the needs of those around you are important, but not so important that they should take precedence over your needs and well-being. But setting boundaries and saying "no" is easier said than done. Sometimes, the best option is to be honest and say that you are burnt out or need to put yourself first rather than making up another reason or just doing it anyway. Helping where you can is great, but remember that it is not your responsibility to fix all the problems of the world. Try not to feel guilty for not taking an opportunity or two because taking care of yourself is a necessary step in helping others.

The detriment of placing your worth in someone else

Dont Tie Your Self-Worth on Others' Actions
This article includes examples of how we put more meaning into other people's actions than necessary, and how to deal with their actions.

One of the main issues with wanting to help others is finding the balance between assistance and reliance. When you are doing a friend a favor, all is fine. But as soon as you put your value in the amount of people who need your help, you give them control over your perception. You quickly become dependent on the feelings of that person, and their view of you is how you judge yourself. Placing your worth in the feelings of someone else gives them the ability to hurt you with even the smallest action, which can cause you to be hypercritical and resentful towards yourself. But the truth is, just because someone isn't by your side 24/7 doesn't mean they don't like you anymore or that you screwed up. How other people act rarely has anything to do with you. Your value as a person does not increase or decrease with someone else's actions or words. So, how do you undo this? The biggest thing you can do to help yourself is to remember not to take it personally. Other's actions are a reflection of themselves, not you. Try to take back the power and understand that YOU determine your value. Think of the things that are great about you, the features you like, and your strengths; that is where the importance lies. It takes time and effort, but it will be worthwhile. Your mental health will improve as you move away from how others view you and towards how you view yourself. Acceptance and self-love start from within.

Additional articles

Still want to learn more about this topic?
This section includes more writings about the benefits of helping others, setting boundaries, and the importance of not looking for external validation.

How Helping Others Improves Your Self-Esteem

Volunteer and service work can be some of the most rewarding acts of all. This article shares how acts of service can benefit the life of the person affected and the self-esteem of the person donating by telling the story of helping out during a natural disaster.

The Trap of External Validation for Self-Esteem

As humans, we all love to be loved. Feeling needed is validating. It makes us feel like we are important and doing something right. But when your perceived worth starts to bank on other people needing you, you're playing with fire. Giving someone else control over your emotions is very dangerous and often happens by accident. This article explains how the craving for external validation starts, the problems it brings up, and what changes when you seek internal validation instead.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Every person has boundaries, and they apply to everyone you interact with. Friends, family members, partners, and co-workers all can cross the line, so it is important to identify and express what your personal boundaries are. This article gives the definition of a healthy boundary, three types of boundaries, and advice on how to set them.