Friends and Family
Category Details
This section is an in-depth dive into the Friends and Family category and what it is comprised of. It includes what kind of answers are in this category, how much of the total this category makes up, and more. Read into the specifics below.
What answers are included?
The Friends and Family category includes exactly what it sounds like. Friends and Family answers became a seperate group from the Other People category because of the number of answers. When asked to complete the prompt "I love myself because..." some answers from this group include "I am a good grandma", "My friends love me", "Because of my kids", "I'm a mom/dad", and "My family loves me".
How does it rank?
The Friends and Family category was the fourth largest of the ten despite only making up 12.7% of the total. 96 of the 757 total answers came from this group.
What are the most common answers?
In each category, the responses were recorded and tallied to find the most common themes. Each answer was then reviewed again and, if applicable, counted towards the subtype it fits. In the Freinds and Family category, the top three answers are as follows:
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My friends love me (16)
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I'm a mom (15)
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My kids (13)
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The first includes any answers about being loved by friends. "My friends like me" also counted. The second includes all answers regarding motherhood. "I'm a mom," "I am a good mom to my kids," and "I love being a mom" were counted towards this group. The last includes any answers regarding having kids, such as "My kids love me," and "I have good sons."
Interpreting the answers
What do these answers mean?
Friends and Family answers make contriversial replies to the prompt "I love myself because...". Friends and Family can be a great help to your self-esteem and do a lot to help you love yourself. But with the replies I recieved in particular, participants put their value in the hands of their friends and/or family. Having the support and love from your loved ones is very important, but you should be able to love yourself whether they do or don't. "I love myself because my mom loves me" implies that if something happened to mom, your self-image would be damaged. The same goes for friends. If your friend moved away and you didn't talk anymore, would you feel lost in your identity? Friends and Family are wonderful to help you feel loved and special, but they should not be the only reason you feel this way. Thus, these answers are subpar in regards to mental health and self-image.
What is good/bad about this response?
With regard to self image, the Friends and Family answers I recieved do not meet the standard. Still, one of the best ways to understand them further is to view the positive and negative aspects of them.
Pros:​
- Family and friends help love and support you and bring your self-esteem up.
- Having good friends improves social skills, builds strong relationships, and brings confidence.
- Having a close relationship with your family reduces stress and emotional strain.
- Friends and Family are good comforts and safe spaces while you're finding who you are
Cons:
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Relying on someone else to like you in order to like yourself is not good for mental health or self-image.
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If your friend/family member is not around anymore, will you lose your identity?
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Placing your worth in the opinions of others gives them authority over your feelings about yourself.
How does this affect mental health?
Friends and Family answers can have a positive and negative effect on mental health, but the problems in this batch outweigh the benefits. Overall, Family and Friends have the ability to pump you up and raise your self-esteem through encourangement, support, and acceptance. The issue that arose in this group of answers was the focus of them. The overwhelming majority said "I love myself because X loves me." This is not good for your mental health because it pins your opinion of yourself on that of your friends/family members. You should be able to love yourself despite the opinions of anyone else, so this raises a red flag. Another common answer was "I love myself because my sibling is still alive." Friends and relatives of suicide victims are substatially more likely to attempt suicide than those that passed of natural causes. Saying that you love yourself because someone else is still here raises the concern that if something were to happen to that person, you would follow suit. This is very dangerous and unhealthy thinking, and needs to be taken seriously.
Take action!
Each section has an article that relates to its subject and a description of its contents. More readings are listed at the end of the page.
How family dynamics impact self-esteem
How Family Impacts Self-Esteem
This article includes how the relationship you had with your family growing up reflects in your self-esteem and confidence.
Whether your relationship with your family growing up was positive, negative, or somewhere in between, it reflects in your self-esteem and confidence. Growing up with parents who nurture and guide their children's strengths causes more confidence and faith in themselves. The opposite can lead to lower self-esteem. The way you were raised greatly contributes to the view you have of yourself, even as an adult. The beliefs and morals you were raised around, the parenting style you experienced, and the criticisms you were given, can all have a permanent stamp on your self-image. Families that spend a lot of time playing and bonding together usually raise children with higher self-assurance, and children with traumatic childhoods, violence between parents, and inconsistent family presence and behavior often grow up to have a skewed sense of self. For better or for worse, your family will affect how you see yourself.
Suicide risk in friends and family of a victim
1 in 10 Suicide Attempt Risk Among Friends and Relatives of People Who Die by Suicide
This article includes research showing the effects of suicidal ideation on family members and friends of a victim and ways to comfort them as they process their loss.
Unfortunately, an estimated 1 million people globally end their lives each year, and over 20 times more people attempt. Suicide is a devastating and powerful decision that changes the lives of more than just the victim. According to the Medical Research Council, 1 in 10 family members or friends of a suicide victim will attempt their life. Those closely related to someone who died by suicide are also 65% more likely to attempt than relatives of those who died by natural causes. As previously mentioned, this is incredibly alarming because of the number of participants who responded to the prompt "I love myself because..." with "so and so is still alive." If you are only holding on because someone else is and that person cannot hang on anymore, that puts you at high risk of following suit. It is crucial to find value in yourself outside of your loved ones, even though it can be difficult. Advice on how to start loving yourself and what it means to love yourself can be found here.
Friendships and mental health
Friendships: Enrich Your Life and Improve Your Health
This article includes the benefits that good friends can bring to your mental and physical well-being and how to find and sustain healthy friendships.
The people you surround yourself with make a lasting impact on your mental health. It goes without saying that good friends make hard days a little easier, and can be one of the best support systems available. So, how do friendships help promote positive mental health and self-image? First off, they provide companionship and prevent isolation. Socializing with friends and getting out into the world is good for your mental health because you can talk out your feelings, relieve some stress, and get advice from the people you trust the most. Good friends also help to support you and guide you to making positive choices for yourself. They can act as a safety net that will catch you before you hit the ground, and try to bring you back into a positive space. Relationships with other people also build self-esteem through reassurance, support, and acceptance. Creating and nurturing your friendships can be a big step towards a healthy relationship with yourself and finding joy in your life.
Additional articles
Still want to learn more about this topic?
This section includes more writings about how your family affects your self-image, the impact that good friends can make on your mental health, and the dangers of codependency.
A big problem that can occur with families and friendships is the reliance on their love for your self-esteem. In some cases, this is linked to a bigger problem: codependency. This article explains how intertwining your identity with someone else's can cause issues with mental health and how codependency can come to fruition.
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Why Healthy Friendships Are Important for Mental Health
In this article, the value of having friends you can trust is highlighted. Good friends can help pull you out when you are struggling and can give you something to get out of bed for. The benefits of mental health from friendships and the support of others are also included.
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The way that you were raised has a lasting effect on how you see yourself. This article explains how parenting styles and home dynamics can affect your self-esteem and confidence, and how to learn from your parenting mistakes.